Lucky #12, the magic button, 2 for the price of 0, etc..

Everyone wants to know about the weekend. I've got some stories, some disturbing, all with an awesome turnout. I didn't have any homework, 'cause in English it's conference week, so I don't have it, save the 20 minute conference on Friday (which means a class-free Wednesday). {deleted} This is the chronicle of my weekend.

Lets begin on Friday night.

Lucky #12:
{deleted}
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On most nights, I prefer to be sober, because it's much easier to chill out with girls and have a great time - especially where hookups are concerned. Why is this night different from any other night?....

The Magic Button:
SO, I was rather drunk, but felt no signs of sickness - no "urge to purge" if you will [hehe I just thought of that] - and I chatted with people and had fun in back while pledge brothers were discovering their family and drink. At this point I was rather enthused about {deleted} defying probability, and when each of the brothers asked how I was feeling [they really care for everyone's wellbeing], I showed my arm and it's 11 lines, and stated that I felt like a zebra. Matt and Randy decided to have fun with me and ask me math questions. Apparently, I realized the derivative of x^2 to be 2xz (two-ex-zee), and the integral of C to be dx. Oh well. Moving on, some people started to show up, as parties around the city [Ski club's 14-keg party, for instance] were shut down by 10 pm. Some girls showed up, including some sisters and pledge sisters from KAQ showed up. I found myself in Evan's room, chatting with a bunch of people, when Dan came up just after I introduced myself to a very attractive girl named Kelly and he told her to touch my pledge pin to see what happens. She touched my pin, and he instantly said "in accordance with tradition, you have to give him a kiss." I smiled and nodded as she asked a few other brothers to confirm. Rather than kissing me, she gyrated and sorta dry-humped me for a few seconds. Dan said "Damn, Michael, that's better than a kiss!" I laughed about that and she said "Oh yeah, so this is our pledge pin," and essentially flashed me, as her pin was on her bra strap, forcing her to adjust her shirt in a way to highlight her "assets." I innocently touched the pin, merely to get a better look, "of course". At this time she knocked me backwards onto Evans bed, mounted me, and made out with me for about two minutes. Then, she got up and smiled at me. "What do you think of our pin?" she asked, to which I replied, "Oh, man! That's like a fuckin' magic button!" Her roommate and she said goodbye and goodnight, and headed out, as the 4 or 5 brothers in the room stared at me, jaws virtually dislocated as they were dropped so far. I got up and chatted with some more people. The guys later told me that I hooked up with another girl, but there's a hazy spot in my memory between the magic button incident and about 3 hours later when I found myself dancing with a group, and mesmerized by Jeff's strobe light as we moved. The party died down, and I determined that I was not in the condition to go back to the dorm, as I'd do something stupid. I tried to call my roommate Stephen to tell him not to expect me, but I couldn't navigate the intricacies of my phone. I recall at one point holding my phone to my head and saying "Call Stephen." I took my shoes off [I learned in Santa Barbara that if your shoes are on, you've passed out, and people mess with you; if your shoes are off, you went to sleep, as you were alert enough to take your shoes off] and munched on Wheat Thins. Jarred said goodbye to Jeff, and it looked to me like he wasn't down under .01% (he was totally fine, but everything looked distorted to me), so I told Jeff that I didn't think Jarred was OK to drive [I knew he drove his Subaru to the party]. Jeff ran him through a gauntlet of sobriety tests, and determined that he was OK. Then I put my head down and went to sleep.
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You ever go to sleep one night and wake up somewhere else?...

The Switch:
I opened my eyes and saw Jeff peak his head out from his hallway. I looked around and discovered the time to be 11:45am. I also discovered myself to be on Jeff's white couch, rather than the black futon-type couch. He asked why I was there, and I was trying to get the same information out of him. I concluded that at one point, I woke up and realized my pledge pin was still on. I put it in my wallet, and took my glasses off. At that point I switched couches, taking the blanket with which Jeff and Evan had covered me over, thinking "how cool of them," as the white couch is much more comfortable. I also saw a bucket on the ground, adjacent to my head, in case the "urge to purge" struck.
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Sometimes things go terribly awry....

The Toaster:
Evan came out and flipped on the TV. Maid in Manhattan was just starting. We shot the breeze on the couch, munching on pretzels and surveying the aftermath of what Jeff and Evan didn't intend to be a party. "Haha! That's what we have pledges for!" said Jeff. When the movie ended, he called Alex and Frenchie [Michael, another pledge, is from France, so to avoid confusion, he's Frenchie] and told them he'd pick them up. They came over, and we cleaned the scene. I cleared all the cans and bottles into a recycling bag [an El Corral bookstore bag, which I found to be humorously ironic], then we did the dishes assembly-line style. I washed, another guy rinsed, another guy dried and put back in the cupboards. Jeff started to prepare some chicken in his mini-George Foreman grille. We vaccummed, swept, and cleaned the floor and carpet. After the first two pieces of chicken were done, Jeff decided to accelerate the process and bake another three in his toaster oven, something he has done several times. After about five minutes, we looked in to see flashes of light. Our quick deduction went something like this -"Well, it's not the moon, it's not a lightbulb, it's not a streetlamp, and it's not a banana...it must be... FIRE! Jeff turned the toaster off and unplugged it immediately. We opened the door and blew the flames out. We took the chicken out, upon which time Jeff realized that he forgot to put the solid metal pan underneath the fillets, letting the fat drip down onto the toaster's heater coils and ignite. He cleaned the toaster and we headed back to campus, 4 in the afternoon.
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Sometimes everything goes the right way. Remember SIGGRAPH, where I won that PS2 raffle, the Adobe raffle, and got all those 3D glasses?...

2 for the Price of 0
Jeff went with me to my room, 'cause we were about to head off to the football game. I called Shaina up to make sure she was going, figured out where she'd meet us, then I changed my shirt, washed my face, brushed my teeth, grabbed a Mountain Dew, and headed out again. Jeff told Shaina to meet us at Grand and Perimeter. We stood there and waited for her. Once she was in sight, I called her up and asked "Where are you??? We're about to take off!" to which she shook her head while saying "oy yoy yoy" and hung up. We went down to the game, and the rumor is true - you merely flash your ID card, and you are let into the stadium. I was handed a T-shirt saying "Go Poly!" which I later put on mid-game. After the band came out and did their diddy, this guy came out with a bazooka/mortar/cannon type thing and fired. Two little bundles flew through the air. I knew it was coming towards me. It should have been in the hands of the people behind me, but I jumped up at the last second and snagged it out of the air. 2 seats over, Dan caught the other one. I unfurled it to reveal a white t-shirt with a giant "Woodstocks" logo on the back. 2 "free" shirts for going to the "free" game. A sweet deal.
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You know how history tends to repeat itself?....

The Party:
After the Mustangs' first loss of the season [and they had the win in their hands until 18 seconds on the clock!], we headed back to the dorm to put on our costumes. I busted out the makeup and hollywoodFX stuff and after way too long, Greg picked us up to take us to Adam's house for the party. We got there at 11:30, and it was still in full swing, but it had gone dry at 9:30. We all put in a buck and they eventually got a keg. I wasn't interested, as I don't enjoy the beer thing, so I stayed sober for the night. People were loving the wound effects, 'cause they look so damn real. One drunk guy was 100% convinced that I actually hammered rebar into my forehead and out my cheek, and screwed the massive bolt into my arm just to look cool for Halloween. 2 girls, however, just wanted to pull them off of me, so I avoided them as much as I could. They were quite cute, however, so as per Jeff's suggestion, I told them that if they pulled any of the three off, it had the same effect as touching the pledge pin, and they would of course have to give me a kiss. Obvously they wanted to take the things off me even more. One thing led to another and !@(*&@#^@!(*&&&&(#$&(*@!#@^@%%$^%(%)%&@%!$^$#**!@^$))#*#$">*@!#@^@%%$^%(%)%&@%!$^$#**!@^$))#*#$&#!!! At 3:30 or so I had Dan give me a lift back to the dorm, whereupon I set my alarm and fell asleep.
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Doesn't if feel great to make a difference?

Philanthropy:
We got to Ner Shalom at 10:15, which was right on the money at 10:00 as seen by JST. We were put to work immediately. We thought we would be doing stupid and meaningless community service, like trimming bushes, painting a wall, organizing siddurim, etc. WRONG. We were given a quick tour of the behind of the temple, which is a 10 acre plot of land with a clay court already in place. YES, I said a CLAY TENNIS COURT!!!!! The guy who is responsible for most of the development was a silver medalist at the Maccabee games, and always wanted a clay court, so he built one. At one corner of a field, a group of us was instructed to dig 5 3.5 foot deep holes. They were for 16 foot posts that will be the framework for the backstop for their BASEBALL DIAMOND. This is truly going to be the coolest JCC out there. I took a break for water, and passed some other guys who were building a shed. On the tarp they were using was a little frog. I picked it up and carried him back to the corner, where we placed him on a cone as our mascot. We got the holes dug, and then I was reassigned to the tennis court, where I put up a new windscreen despite WAAAY too much wind. I saw a little lizard run across my path, and my Ramah instincts kicked in. After a 15 second chase, I caught the lizard, and turned it over to see that it was a blue-belly. I knew from camp that rubbing their belly relaxes them, so I made it fall asleep, then walked over to Greg, who had his camera, and had him take a picture. He took a few [I'll post 'em when I get 'em], and I was walking away when I realized that it wasn't a normal bluebelly, which has one stripe down the middle, but one that has two stripes and white in the middle. It was quickly concluded that it was an israeli flag, so we got another picture with it and my israeli flag dog tag. We finished our work and headed over to the baseball corner to hit around a bit. The field is still completely undeveloped, in fact a tractor was plowing the outfield as we played. I'm the only one that didn't wear a glove, and the only one to consistently catch thrown balls, and the only one to actually catch deeep fly balls, and the only one to CRUSH every pitch [two came within a foot of the tractor hehe]. I may not have played Baseball for the past 6 years, but I still have it in me.
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Isn't it great to just relax?

Denoument:
I chilled out for the afternoon. Dan, Malory, Steve, and a bunch of others decided to go to Jamba Juice. We got there, and the girl inside was locking up. SO, we went next door to the Starbuxes. For those that don't know, SLO has the END OF THE UNIVERSE, as described by Lewis Black, whereby there is a Starbuck's across from a Starbuck's. One of them happens to be in a Barnes and Noble store, which was where we went. They had Cheesecake Factory chesecake in one of the refrigg'ed shelves. Seeing how close it is to Thanksgiving/Halloween, they had PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE. I nixed the drink idea and got myself a slice of that heavenly goodness. It was only $3.50, making the $7.50 at the real Cheesecake Factory [back home, of course] a FUCKIN RIP OFF. We came back, and here I am.
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Halloween weekend was incredibly cool.

Peace.